Marrying a Revert


Here is a question about Marrying a Revert on Yahoo Answers

This is the question:

I want to marry a ” reverted to islam ” girl ?

i am a muslim guy and i always had a dream of marrying a ” revert to islam ” girl from another culture for so many reasons , i believe that reverted are the most believer of islam , i envy them , sure iam grateful to God i was born as a muslim but i see that reverted had the chance to choose they leave there old life and pay a high cost and face alot of Obstacles in there way to become a muslim , i know its a very great feeling to choose islam and work for it , i wish i was reverted and choose islam by myself , but iam grateful to god for what iam anyway ,also as i can see from few friends its the best to have a Partner from another culture , the relationship is very very richso my question is : my dream is that i want to marry a reverted girl from different culture but it seem that it is diffcult to meet and know anyone in my country as i live already in a muslim country ” Egypt ” , i think it the time to marry now , so do i keep looking for what i want or i just stop looking and just marry a muslim girl from my country ?

also am i wronge and shallow in this thinking ? to put these rules in my searching ? or iam right to try to find what i dream of ,what i want and what i see it the best or me or what ?

what do u think ? also if u have any ideas about where i can meet reverted girl tell me ?

My reply:

Salaam Aleykum
There are thousands of Reverts and Converts to Islam. You just have to know where to look! One of the risky things though about Reverts / Converts is that they are undergoing an intense spiritual journey and learning about Quran and Islam. The danger of studying the Quran is that it highlights how much out of sync SOME OF the hadiths are with the Quran. This inevitably leads to the Revert being very wary of hadiths in general and wanting to verify their authenticity and authority. When they study the Quran, this leads to them having some insight about islam as described by the Quran itself which may appear to be VERY different from Islam taught in some Traditional circles which is often very much hadith based. So if you have your heart set on marrying a revert, you may wish to consider finding out more about the Quranist approach to islam which is one of the naturally preferred approaches for Reverts and Converts AFTER they have become disillusioned with contradictions and dogma within Traditional Islam. No offense intended. Just trying to give the best advice I can, inshaaAllah, speaking as a Quranist Revert myself. (I am already married btw) Also bear in mind possible language barriers and / or possible differences in culture, if the revert is from a different country. It may seem exotic at first but once the novelty wears off, you may find it difficult to bridge the gaps. If you meet someone, who fills the criteria of being a Revert Muslimah, be honest, sincere and realistic about your expectations of her as a future wife and find out hers about you as a future husband. Be very aware that Reverts (new ones especially) on a spiritual journey may not yet have settled into 1 closed set of defined beliefs and may still be seeking the truth and their beliefs can evolve with time. Changes of beliefs even though they still believe in the Quran and 1 God does not mean they will always conform to what YOUR personal interpretation / understanding / expectation of what Islam is. InshaaAllah you will have many very deep, philosophical and thought provoking discussions with your bride-to-be. I wish you all the best and much happiness inshaaAllah.

Stepping Stones


I believe that each person has their own spiritual journey. Not all of us were born into “Islam”. I didn’t even know what the Quran was until 2006. Still I believe my personal journey guided by Allah led me to circumstances which led me to finding out about the Quran. Then people tried to obscure my understanding of the Quran by telling me about the Hadith collections and making things complicated, and diverting me from the Quran. Then part of my personal journey led me to finding out that the Quran explains the Quran, not Hadith explains the Quran. This idea was suggested to me by a website. It gave me the Quran references so I knew where to look, then I checked the Quran references and found it out to be true. At this point… Was I using the Quran by itself or Quran plus website or Quran plus translation? I think I was using Quran plus website plus translation.

Suppose I said, as a new convert: “Even though I have no idea how to read, speak or understand a word of Arabic, I am only going to look at the original Arabic Quran and keep staring at the words until they make sense to me”. Allah is able to do anything. I do believe in miracles. When I was a new convert, I didn’t try to read the Quran in Arabic though. Maybe upon reflection my own faith was flawed from the outset by not doing so?  The natural thing to do for me was reach for an English translation of course. I do believe that God did give us stepping stones on our journey of spiritual enlightenment. Tools to facilitate. All good is from God. His blessings are too numerous to count. He does not wish hardship for us. I could be sick and wait for a miracle recovery, refusing all medical treatment, when the blessing is right there:  a hospital with trained, qualified doctors that can give you the medicine you need. It is not the doctor you worship, or the medicine. It is God for providing the blessing.

Stepping along in my journey, I soon found out that not all translations are the same. I started comparing translations and getting into using word-by-word Quran, slowly increasing my understanding of which Arabic words were commonly translated as either this, that or the other. I started to notice discrepancies. Why had one translator used this word, and two others had used another, and then comparing some of the verses (which were at larger variance with each other) in up to 19 online translations – Praise God for modern technology – this would have taken a lifetime without the internet.  I noticed the same translator used a different word for the exact same word he’d translated differently previously in the text. The consistency seemed off. That’s why I am trying to see the inconsistencies as I go along, comparing the words, doing individual word studies. So that’s just the words! As time has gone by, some of the words I have come to know from standard Arabic Quran glossaries just don’t seem to have much backing from the Quran. More on Primary Usage of Words in the Quran

Where will I find the next stepping stone on my journey of spiritual enlightenment? Only God truly knows.